Void

There are different types of voids. There are the voids we feel when someone/something is removed from our lives, and there are the voids that are more ambiguous.

The first is the hollow that was once home to something – that teddy bear your mom sold at a garage sale when you were in college, the loss of a loved one after they have passed away, the friend or significant other who is no longer in your life… we have lost and now there is a void.

These loss voids are different depending on what was lost. They might get filled by other things over time. Someone or something could take its place. There is no rule for how this will play out. I am of the opinion that some of these voids will stay will us forever. You just get used to them being there.
[A word of warning about filling loss voids there are some things that should not be used to fill the emptiness that loss can bring. Temporary fixes are not always healthy. Even if it feels good at the time, it most likely will not help in the long-term. I could write a book on this topic! Perhaps I’ll dedicate a whole post to this down the road.]

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The second type of void is a little more difficult to explain. I have heard women (and some men who are willing to discuss such things) talk about how there is something missing in their lives. They have a void and they are trying to fill it, but they just can’t identify how the hole got there or how to fill it. You realize something is missing from your life and you want to fix it, but since, to your knowledge, it has never been filled, you haven’t the slightest idea how you should fill it. It has never been occupied.

The ambiguous void makes me think of my one of my favorite Shel Silverstein books, The Missing Piece –

Did you watch it? No really, it will be worth it.

The quest for the missing piece took It all over – land, sea, jungle, mountains. During Its journey, It was able to smell flowers, appreciate the butterflies and even make up a little song. It met lots of pieces that just didn’t fit the void. Until it met that one piece that fit perfectly and they rolled together. But during their rolling together, It could not do the things It enjoyed. In the end, It bids farewell to the piece that filled the void.

This makes me curious. There are apparently different views as to what Mr. Silverstein meant when he wrote this story, but I’m going to go ahead and use it for this topic: filling the void. We are in search of that perfect missing piece, but is it what we really need? Should we be constantly on the search?

This leads me to a second Shel Silverstein book, The Missing Piece Meets the Big O. And watch it … now!

I absolutely love the ending in this book. After changing who it was, trying so hard to find a place to fit, the missing piece realizes that it didn’t need to be a missing piece for something else. It rounded itself and rolled on its own.

Maybe we are like this missing piece and the It that was missing its piece. Maybe we should not go around trying to fill the ambiguous voids in our lives. Instead, maybe we should just enjoy life. Enjoy the flowers, grow as individuals and roll along with others. Don’t depend on others or things to complete us. Be content smelling the flowers and playing with butterflies and maybe we will be fortunate enough to have others rolling alongside.